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Thread: How to keep my dominating housemate happy?

  1. #61
    The royal penis is clean tremolo's Avatar
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    Have an elaborate three course meal ready for him when he gets home from work one day. Set the table and have candles lit, and rose petals throughout the house. Wear only an apron and high heels (no clothes).

    He will leave and you'll also get a rad meal for 2 all to yourself.

  2. #62
    Registered User Bren's Avatar
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    Some good suggestions in here

    My vote is tell him you think he's a fuckwit and that he has 4 weeks to find somewhere else to live. Simple.

  3. #63
    Today you, Tomorrow you. tomvale13's Avatar
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    Glue a fake beard to his face whilst he sleeps, put a koran under his bed with a bag of fertiliser, make an anonymous phone call?

  4. #64
    Nay sayer Mr Ed's Avatar
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    Get his bond together in 5c pieces, throw the lot at him and tell him "Im sick of your shit, get the fuck OUT!"

    BTW, how long has he been there?
    #WHOTW award winner #blessed #susanalbumparty

  5. #65
    Registered Fatman Dark Orange's Avatar
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    Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?

  6. #66
    Registered User junny's Avatar
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    No mention of gearboxing?

  7. #67
    bitch lasagne Bob Vegana.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by junny View Post
    No mention of gearboxing?
    Flawed concept in this instance.

    Frozen tray of piss under his bed linen might work.

  8. #68
    Registered User 9triton's Avatar
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    stop paying the rent - then landlord will sort it all out for you in a months time - and you wont need to speak to flatmate

  9. #69
    Registered User 9triton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by junny View Post
    No mention of gearboxing?
    cough... post 26..cough

    do you even read , bro?

  10. #70
    Registered User Gussy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Exocet Aust. View Post
    Guy called JJJ recently with same problem. Here's what he did.

    Copied real estate header to word doc.
    Wrote letter to leasee stating owner wants to renovate and they had 4 weeks notice.
    Posted it to home address, addressed to flat mates.
    He was so desperate to get this chick out of the house, he moved all his shit out 4 days before the "eviction" date to his mums place, waited for her to move her shit out, then moved everything back.
    Well played I reckon.
    Fuck me, that's the most over the top solution ever. Tell the cunt to hand in his man card.

  11. #71
    bitch lasagne Bob Vegana.'s Avatar
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    You could try the tough-cunt hero all-confrontational approach, and look like a complete fuckwit to your peers, or you could pull off some crazy hijinx and actually have a story worth telling for a few years.

  12. #72
    Today you, Tomorrow you. tomvale13's Avatar
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    Be even easier if you just tell people who you "sub-let" to that the place is fully furnished, hence in the scenario described on Triple J you can merely pack a few bags..?

  13. #73
    Registered User Dimi's Avatar
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    -Google terrorist related ISIS stuff on his computer while he is out
    -Download "how to martyrdom in the name of Allah" ebook
    -Tell him he should grow a beard, it would suit him.
    -Insert Koran into his bedside table
    -Call AFP and report suspicious activity
    -Never see him again, keep bond and profit

  14. #74
    Registered User Dimi's Avatar
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    -Google terrorist related ISIS stuff on his computer while he is out
    -Download "how to martyrdom in the name of Allah" ebook
    -Tell him he should grow a beard, it would suit him.
    -Insert Koran into his bedside table
    -Call AFP and report suspicious activity
    -Never see him again, keep bond and profit

  15. #75
    Hungry Hungry Hippo Tripper's Avatar
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    order some adult nappies for him, and perhaps some tampons and perhaps various other free samples
    you cant spell advertisements without semen between the tits

  16. #76
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    Tell him it's not working out and you're giving him 4 weeks notice?
    Smug elitist wanker since 2013.

  17. #77
    Registered User Steve Whitney's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by id View Post
    Tell him it's not working out and you're giving him 4 weeks notice?
    that idea sounds ridiculous, it'll never work

  18. #78
    Registered User HARD CUNT's Avatar
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    Thanks cunts... Some of you have sick minds

    Going to give him notice on Wednesday.... Apprently he is away for a few days in the coming weeks but he has said this before and didn't go and parked his arse on the couch for when he was to be away.. Looked at my own calendar and in away aswell and there is fuck all chance he is moving out on a weekend I am away....

    I'll report back with how it goes....
    Quote Originally Posted by Kiahatsiu View Post
    Dear Fidel,
    Well, enough small talk, how is the corn chute?
    Regards
    Kia.
    Quote Originally Posted by rolin7
    the car is basically a drunk guy from Toowoomba with an empty VB case on his head.
    Quote Originally Posted by tomvale13 View Post
    maybe don a stackhat, a cardigan, wear a cheese cake as underpants and see how it goes

  19. #79
    Nay sayer Mr Ed's Avatar
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    Move out and rent your room to 7 Chinese students for $100 a week each. He will eventually leave, in the mean time you can go rent your own place for the same price as sharing a place.

    Once hes gone you can call immigration on the students.
    #WHOTW award winner #blessed #susanalbumparty

  20. #80
    What goes here? 23Kev's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mitchamus View Post
    I'll report back with how it goes....
    I survived the patio flooding catastrophe of 2012.

  21. #81
    loves the Cressy
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    Quote Originally Posted by 23Kev View Post
    ^ What we were all doing during the time mentioned in your sig.

    I survived the patio flooding catastrophe of 2012.
    Cheers, Richard

    MX83 Cressida Grande - 1JZ-GTE Twin Turbo JZX81 Motor, Fr Suspension in, tailshaft made & installed, bigger fuel pump in, zorst, wiring, fmic done (thanks jzk25) BA rotors R33 Calipers Now REGISTERED going well
    '92 & '94 TF Holden Rodeo 2.8 TurboDiesel 4WDs - Daily Driver regular breaker/backup ute
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    - Long Term Jobs

  22. #82
    What goes here? 23Kev's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jzx83 View Post
    ^ What we were all doing during the time mentioned in your sig.
    That was a worthy cause...
    I survived the patio flooding catastrophe of 2012.

  23. #83
    Registered User 260BC's Avatar
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    Geez, just tell him that his time is up and you want him gone or if you want to be a bit devious then tell him he has to go because your secret martial arts boyfriend is moving in. Anything more is girly super devious stuff.
    Richard's DatsunZ lappin LakesidZ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47OSh...&feature=g-upl

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  24. #84
    "The bitches, are wet" Sketchy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by splashman View Post
    I'm sensing this thread is an elaborate ruse by the op in order to cover the humblebrag which has been slipped in here.
    On point.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dimi View Post
    80mm of penetration isn't bad, i wish i had that much.
    Quote Originally Posted by schnitzelburger View Post
    My entire working career pretty much consists of suckin dick and takin names.

    Sometimes im too busy to take names.

  25. #85
    For when u need a wizard merlin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tremolo View Post
    Have an elaborate three course meal ready for him when he gets home from work one day. Set the table and have candles lit, and rose petals throughout the house. Wear only an apron and high heels (no clothes).

    He will leave and you'll also get a rad meal for 2 all to yourself.
    either that or you will get fucked in the arse

    John P

  26. #86
    Registered User 1uz-zte's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by merlin View Post
    either that or you will get fucked in the arse

    John P
    Yes, very high risk strategy.

  27. #87
    Registered User HARD CUNT's Avatar
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    So gave him notice last night, understabd my it didn't go down so well... Told him I'll be looking aswell!

    He reckons 60 days notice, now he isn't on the lease (it's in my name and we are month to month atm) and he pays me fortnightly..... Am I being a shitcunt not giving him 60days cos I gave him 30 and told him a email will be coming with everything in writing

  28. #88
    Registered Fatman Dark Orange's Avatar
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    Thirty days is plenty.
    Is it crazy how saying sentences backwards creates backwards sentences saying how crazy it is?

  29. #89
    Registered User Mudkicker's Avatar
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    60 days, what the fuck?

  30. #90
    No I'm Not Shonky Shonky's Avatar
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    Putting it in writing when there is no other formal agreement is kinda worthless.

    I reckon 30 days is reasonable.

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