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Thread: Just rolled in to the shop...

  1. #1
    25 schmeckles? Do the safety dance.'s Avatar
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    Just rolled in to the shop...

    Every time I see something unusual at work I think about starting a thread and never do, usually cause I forget to take a picture. Not just cars coming in with a blown diff or tyres with the belts coming out; stuff you don't see every day. There's enough guys on here in the industry, so post up something I haven't seen!

  2. #2
    25 schmeckles? Do the safety dance.'s Avatar
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    I'll kick it off with one that came in today:

    Customer came in with an S15 blowing tonnes of smoke, says he just changed the turbo. Knowing the guy I assumed he bought a stuffed turbo off gumtree and got hustled, but he assures me it came off his friends car and was fine.
    Had a look under the car and saw the drain pipe CAKED in silastic. Easy; hole's blocked. Took the drain off and turns out old mate had a go at making his own gasket:

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    Fail!

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    Arrogant wankeler Slides's Avatar
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    The best ones are engine/gearbox "conversions" by "workshops" usually sporting multiple points on contact on/off throttle in the engine way with high idle/no closed loop and smokey microtech tune.

    Or guys with skyline/180/300zx who "backed into a curb parking" with completely fucked rear wheel/subframe/control arms.
    Last edited by Slides; 06-07-15 at 11:04 PM.

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    Registered User jimmyg's Avatar
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    Mates farm ute was running like shit and blowing black smoke. Found a rat had made a nest in the air box using the filter paper and fark nows what else. Few of the baby where still alive but farking awfull mess to fix.

    CSH

  6. #6
    Malakia Industries
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    I got some pearlers because I used to do insurance work.

    Excel towed in because it wouldnt start. I had done a timing belt on it a week prior. At the same time its getting unloaded I get a call from the father of the young girl who owns it hurling some pretty serious abuse and making some decent threats. Stick my head in window and the thing is still in drive (even after towie loaded it up). For some reason the father is difficult to get a hold of after that. Fuckwit.

    Had a middle eastern type guy come in with a late 90's Audi A4 asking for a wheel alignment because it doesnt feel right. He has been to the other 2 local shops that do alignments and they have sent him away and is unsure why. Sure thing mate, Ill get it done. Im on the drivers side of the car taking his details and thought Id have a quick peek at the LH tyres to see how they are wearing. The fucking car has been T boned at 10000km/h and the LH rear wheel has been pushed hard under the car, literally sitting on a 45 degree angle. Handbrake cable and brake flex line ripped clean out, claims he had no idea what happened. Lol.

    Two gay dudes bring in a Freelander (thats a given, yeah?) thats smoking quite bad. They put about 15L of coolant into the crankcase. Good lol that one.

    Had a broken down VS Senator in the driveway for a couple days. Checked it out and fuel pump is dead, customer is in no hurry. Couple days after I checked it out I turn up to work nice and early and the VS is down the end of the street in the loading zone. I didnt think much of it, we park cars there every day, I assumed my uncle or one of my cousins got in early and did the pump already. Later that day my uncle asks where the Senator is, after a bit of confusion we realise none of us moved it there. Quick scan of CCTV finds a couple boongs got in it, tried clutch starting it down the steep driveway, went and got a new battery and jumper leads and still couldnt get it going and left the new battery and leads inside the car. Thanks cunts, needed a new set.



    I could go all day.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Terribleone View Post
    Had a broken down VS Senator in the driveway for a couple days. Checked it out and fuel pump is dead, customer is in no hurry. Couple days after I checked it out I turn up to work nice and early and the VS is down the end of the street in the loading zone. I didnt think much of it, we park cars there every day, I assumed my uncle or one of my cousins got in early and did the pump already. Later that day my uncle asks where the Senator is, after a bit of confusion we realise none of us moved it there. Quick scan of CCTV finds a couple boongs got in it, tried clutch starting it down the steep driveway, went and got a new battery and jumper leads and still couldnt get it going and left the new battery and leads inside the car. Thanks cunts, needed a new set.
    Gold.

    Great stories keep them coming.

  8. #8
    Registered User Rockhopper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terribleone View Post



    I could go all day.
    Please do.

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    Baked Dachi Benonymous's Avatar
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    Registered User dnegative's Avatar
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    Whats wrong with fucked diff's?


    Was running sweet as a nut, noise was considered normal


    Found the nut sitting in the intake to the turbo, genuinely surprised, not that it blew up, BW turbos are fucking rubbish
    Last edited by dnegative; 07-07-15 at 09:36 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by cracka View Post
    Fuck I'm retarded

  11. #11
    Registered User adamRSLC's Avatar
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    Classic at my old tyre shop I was at,

    They fit a set of new tyres to newish commo, owners of shop checks wheel nuts , pressure set etc and car is picked up.

    Phone call two hours later and a very unhappy owner saying son was driving the car and the drivers side front wheel fell off and the car smashed into gutter and park fence. Police involved and car is inspected, they agree the wheel is not attached to the car anymore but the most of the hub is missing from the impact and wheel can't be found.

    My boss is 100% he tightened the wheel and being an old bugger won't let this go, after work he goes to the scene of the accident looking for the missing wheel, spent 3 hours looking and is about to try again the next day when he heads to the creek ( 100m ) away and wades through knee deep water and spots the wheel with the wheel nuts still attached to the studs...........
    Last edited by adamRSLC; 07-07-15 at 09:49 PM.
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  12. #12
    25 schmeckles? Do the safety dance.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dnegative View Post
    Found the nut sitting in the intake to the turbo, genuinely surprised, not that it blew up, BW turbos are fucking rubbish
    I've got two identical Garretts sitting on my bench right now with the impeller messed up due to the nut coming off. Long fucking story, apparently oil supply issue .

  13. #13
    Registered User dnegative's Avatar
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    This one had about 8L in the intercooler and its the probably the 10th I've done.
    Quote Originally Posted by cracka View Post
    Fuck I'm retarded

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    I'm not going to post any pics because it will id the car & workshop(s) involved.

    Customer gets me to go into his shop today to see if I can find where the fuel smell in the boot is coming from, in a merc circuit car that the end user has spent over $300k on & been to about 4 different shops.

    Car has had the fire bomb system wood screwed into the floor
    Couldnt be bothered ordering correct length springs for the coil overs, lets just get some 3 inch tall springs and throw them on top of the current springs.
    Cage tubing is welded, but the floor plates are merely sikaflexed/drip checked into the floor.
    One tyre has managed to rub the powder coating off the spring & the annodising off the spring adjuster, 2 tyre blowouts on turn 1 at EC & the last shop couldnt figure out why!
    Instead of fitting one proper oil cooler, lets just add 2 small ones in series & with no ducting or any protection between the tyre & oil coolers.
    When making changes, instead of making new AN lines, just use female - female adaptors everywhere & extend them.
    Monster wing attached to boot that has all of 1 inch of weld on each arm
    FIA cert fuel cell in the boot, but who needs gaskets or even a proper vent outside the car

  15. #15
    25 schmeckles? Do the safety dance.'s Avatar
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    Fuckin hell!

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    Registered User RNS-11Z's Avatar
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    Baked Dachi Benonymous's Avatar
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    Malakia Industries
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    Awesome. Honda?

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    bitch lasagne Bob Vegana.'s Avatar
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    I see this sort of shit all the time.

    A lot of it comes out of rather well-known perfomance workshops, too. Cunts just have no pride in their work. I had a car today that had been to two other well-known VAG specialist for various things. I spent more time sorting out their shithouse workmanship than doing what I was meant to do.

    I've got a car here at the moment, an early '00s Golf. Previous shop put an engine in it for some reason. Instead of taking the motor and auto box out, splitting it on the floor, and swapping everything over, they decided to leave the box in the car. In doing so, they've fucked the oil pump on the box by jamming the torque converter back into it, which would've been attached to the new motor. This resulted in the car pissing ATF out all over the road, and fucking the box when it slipped it's cunt out due to no oil. Found heaps of shit wrong with it during the tear-down, like plugged vacuum lines, instead of hooking the cunts up to where they're supposed to be, and rubber coolant hoses routed so that they're hard up against the EGR pipe, and so on.
    Quote Originally Posted by brewdles View Post
    In short, some cunt at test and tune had a 250cc honda turning to 11ty and it sounded porn. Do that.

  20. #20
    Malakia Industries
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    I had this regular customer thats a complete tosser. Owns a whole bunch of exotic Euro stuff (porkas, Ferrari, Lambo etc) but they were all fucked. He would buy the cheapest, most fucked examples of each, put ugly wheels and shitty decals on them and well...act like a fuckwit.

    So one day he rings and tells me he's bought a black 930 and would be bringing it in for a once over. During the entire course of the phone call he mentions the words "genuine 930 turbo" at least 10 times. I get a bit excited. Tells me what he paid for it and Im in disbelief. Very cheap. Next week rolls around and car turns up, I wait until the end of the day to have a good look and drive of it. Quick walk around and it looks nice. Fat ass, big rubber, nice paint. I get in and take off down the road, after warming it up I give it a bit of a squirt and hang on. Hmm. Nothing. Feels like a fucking 3.0 Carrera. Pull over and pop the engine cover. No turbo, WTF. Go back and give him a call and im like ummmm mate, you know its not turbo yeah? "Its genuine! Its a genuine 930 turbo!". Cue 15 minutes of him explaining how a 1977 narrow body with fibreglass guards is classified as a 930 in "his circle". Gets angry because Im asking him if he realises its not a 930 turbo. Insists it is.

    One of the dumber conversations I was part of. It didnt even make sense.

  21. #21
    Tripping balls willsy01's Avatar
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    It was Uncle, wasn't it.

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    Scaramouch seedyrom's Avatar
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    Laughed a lot

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    Defective Faux Forg's Avatar
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    http://i.imgur.com/yVkNnc2.jpg
    http://i.imgur.com/ci3rLha.jpg
    http://i.imgur.com/jDgmB1e.jpg

    This was a Commodore steering rack conversion on a 50's Yank barge that I was asked to quote on repairing for a new owner. This thing was registered in NSW and being driven... That big long cunt of a rack is what the previous owner used to replace the orignal centre pivot steering. Hello, and welcome to bump steer! The steering column was cut and shut and rubber mounted into a big end that was tacked to the inspection cover on the floor. The steering shaft was mig welded galvanised water pipe and as can be seen it the photo, it wasn't even properly engaging the spline on the pinion. While I was checking it out, the owner's ~3 year old was sitting inside the car playing with the steering wheel and the whole lot was flexing...
    Quote Originally Posted by Marlin
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  24. #24
    Wait what? sirhsv's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by willsy01 View Post
    It was Uncle, wasn't it.
    Rofl
    Sutherland Shires #1 Escort? is that like being the 4th best prostitute in Kazahkstan?

  25. #25
    Half Shafted. Madhatr's Avatar
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    had a customer come in with a peugeot 406 complaining the brakes had gone spongy and was difficult to get into gear sometimes. Wanted it looked at. Something major had gone wrong in the rear end and the solid brake line had been moving all over the place, eventually rubbed through just behind the caliper and dumped fluid everywhere. Made a new line, bleed the rear brakes, came around to bleed the fronts and realised the whole front subframe was just about ready to fall out of the car. Im not even joking, forget the engine mounts being completely trashed, the struts, the subframe mounts and pretty much every bush in the front end were completely destroyed. One of the subframe bolts had snapped after the pounding it had copped, while one of the others had worn to a nice taper from the cradle moving around.

    Tried to drop the car back down on to it's wheels but everything was out of whack. No way in hell I was going to let anyone get into it, so we put a couple of jacks under the rear end and pulled the car backwards until a HUGE bang was heard and the subframe rested back into position. Called the customer for a bit of a chat and a please explain, they knew all about the worn bushes, been like that for at least a couple of years, every time you go over a speed bump the car steers funny for a moment then it usually comes good with some driving. If you though that was completely ridiculous in itself, the brake line had been leaking for weeks and they just kept topping up the brake master every time they went to drive anywhere.

    If you have ever seen flogged caster bushes in a commodore allow a wheel to move forwards and backwards in a guard, times that by about 10. The front end moved so much it would rub on the inner guard and firewall.
    Quote Originally Posted by Buford T. Justice
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  26. #26
    cunt
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terribleone View Post
    I had this regular customer thats a complete tosser. Owns a whole bunch of exotic Euro stuff (porkas, Ferrari, Lambo etc) but they were all fucked. He would buy the cheapest, most fucked examples of each, put ugly wheels and shitty decals on them and well...act like a fuckwit.

    So one day he rings and tells me he's bought a black 930 and would be bringing it in for a once over. During the entire course of the phone call he mentions the words "genuine 930 turbo" at least 10 times. I get a bit excited. Tells me what he paid for it and Im in disbelief. Very cheap. Next week rolls around and car turns up, I wait until the end of the day to have a good look and drive of it. Quick walk around and it looks nice. Fat ass, big rubber, nice paint. I get in and take off down the road, after warming it up I give it a bit of a squirt and hang on. Hmm. Nothing. Feels like a fucking 3.0 Carrera. Pull over and pop the engine cover. No turbo, WTF. Go back and give him a call and im like ummmm mate, you know its not turbo yeah? "Its genuine! Its a genuine 930 turbo!". Cue 15 minutes of him explaining how a 1977 narrow body with fibreglass guards is classified as a 930 in "his circle". Gets angry because Im asking him if he realises its not a 930 turbo. Insists it is.

    One of the dumber conversations I was part of. It didnt even make sense.
    that would be the rice boy?
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    I think u should marry her... slip the ring inside your ass and next time she goes in, she'll come out with a ring on her finger...

  27. #27
    GTR Wanker MR 1JZ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terribleone View Post
    I had this regular customer thats a complete tosser. Owns a whole bunch of exotic Euro stuff (porkas, Ferrari, Lambo etc) but they were all fucked. He would buy the cheapest, most fucked examples of each, put ugly wheels and shitty decals on them and well...act like a fuckwit.

    So one day he rings and tells me he's bought a black 930 and would be bringing it in for a once over. During the entire course of the phone call he mentions the words "genuine 930 turbo" at least 10 times. I get a bit excited. Tells me what he paid for it and Im in disbelief. Very cheap. Next week rolls around and car turns up, I wait until the end of the day to have a good look and drive of it. Quick walk around and it looks nice. Fat ass, big rubber, nice paint. I get in and take off down the road, after warming it up I give it a bit of a squirt and hang on. Hmm. Nothing. Feels like a fucking 3.0 Carrera. Pull over and pop the engine cover. No turbo, WTF. Go back and give him a call and im like ummmm mate, you know its not turbo yeah? "Its genuine! Its a genuine 930 turbo!". Cue 15 minutes of him explaining how a 1977 narrow body with fibreglass guards is classified as a 930 in "his circle". Gets angry because Im asking him if he realises its not a 930 turbo. Insists it is.

    One of the dumber conversations I was part of. It didnt even make sense.
    To be fair they dont make any boost below 4500rpm...did you push it past that?
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  28. #28
    Former hairdresser Captain_Slow's Avatar
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    This is quickly becoming one of my favourite threads...

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    Two Hands Deus Ex's Avatar
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  30. #30
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    same...

    waiting for Al

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