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Thread: Just rolled in to the shop...

  1. #31
    Chairbourn ranger! Mike Lowrrryyy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by willsy01 View Post
    It was Uncle, wasn't it.



    P.S Cant be me. My car has shit paint. Wanker yes. Good paint no.
    Last edited by Mike Lowrrryyy; 08-07-15 at 01:42 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by S View Post
    I just want to apologise for some of my shit talking back around page 5.

  2. #32
    Malakia Industries
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    Quote Originally Posted by XFJET View Post
    that would be the rice boy?
    How did you guess?

    This story is just me being a prick. Annoying tightarse regular customer comes in with his 100 series cruiser to have one tyre replaced although all 4 are shagged. He annoys me every time so I fit the new tyre with white lettering facing out instead of in to not match the other 3. A week later has a blowout on the other side, fit new tyre on opposite side with coloured lettering not matching the rear tyre. One by one they were all replaced and not one side had matching white lettering on the tyres. Customer tried to rotate them on his own so each side had the same colour but they were directionals. HAHAHA. Fuck you.

    /evilgenius
    Last edited by Terribleone; 08-07-15 at 02:18 PM.

  3. #33
    What goes here? 23Kev's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terribleone View Post
    How did you guess?

    This story is just me being a prick. Annoying tightarse regular customer comes in with his 100 series cruiser to have one tyre replaced although all 4 are shagged. He annoys me every time so I fit the new tyre with white lettering facing out instead of in to not match the other 3. A week later has a blowout on the other side, fit new tyre on opposite side with coloured lettering not matching the rear tyre. One by one they were all replaced and not one side had matching white lettering on the tyres. Customer tried to rotate them on his own so each side had the same colour but they were directionals. HAHAHA. Fuck you.

    /evilgenius
    Wicked. That should go in the "what do you do to be a sea hunt" thread too.
    I survived the patio flooding catastrophe of 2012.

  4. #34
    Resident Oaf Jim's Avatar
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    far out I've had a lifetime of these sorts of stories. Used to be an engine reconditioner and general mechanic in Brookvale.

    Woman with a TA22 celica came in complaining of the car pulling and making noises. Turns out the front had gone metal to metal, worn the backing through then had fallen out and the caliper piston had popped out and wedged against the disc. Well, what was left of the piston anyway. Turns out she'd been driving it for weeks like that. Didn't she arc up when we wouldn't let her drive it anywhere.

    Electrician's Holden Scurry (suzuki carry) blowing smoke. smoke smelled like diesel. Yep, diesel in the tank. Gave them a reco motor for their trouble.
    Same scurry came into the panel shop behind our workshop with one side scraped badly. The stupidly large roof racks full of conduit and ladders helped it tip over on a rounabout. They got their quote and pissed off. Next week, came back this time with matching scrapes down the other side. Asked us to remove the roof racks.

    hippopotamus driving a TC cortina 250 complaining it was slow and noisy. Opened the bonnet and the six cylinder motor was sitting in there on an angle. Closer inspection, number 2, and 4 had thrown rods, shattering the block, camshaft and everything including a large part of the block floating in the air still connected to the engine mount. Hippopotamus commissions a reco engine. Was never seen again. After 3 months the car got a sign on it and was parked out the front as a mobile billboard until the cops took the plates off it. We used to skid the shit out of it every morning and afternoon.

    I cut the car up and fed it into the contractor's garbage truck. The engine got sold to Brett Middleton for his Transit van tow pig.

    Skank came in with a 180B and a fuel gauge not working.
    Opened the back doors to get the back seat out to get to the access panel. Used tampons, syringes, needles, used condoms, and we shut the door again and told her to fuck off.

    Traveling hookers came in with a hiace camper and a blown engine, but no money. Offered to do everyone in the workshop for free in exchange for a motor. Boss sent them packing. When everyone else found out they missed out (and they would of too lol) there was a near riot haha.

    Brother of one of the panel beaters and one of his scummy mates broke into the workshop one night and stole all our tools. Few weeks later boss got a tip off, and three of us went and visited the guy in Dee Why. Found some of my tools and took them back. Took all of his for good measure. Fuck him. Some months after that had to appear in court as he got done for that job and a number of others.

    Will add more as I remember them.
    Turns out, far too much has been written about great men and not nearly enough about morons


    Quote Originally Posted by seedyrom
    my neighbours called the cops...... not because of the sound of me working in the garage was too loud, but because i taped a cardboard box to my back, covered my self in vaseline and pretended i was a snail on their lawn

  5. #35
    not a cunt suzuki dave's Avatar
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    Self explanatory..
    Mobile Suzuki Specialist : www.facebook.com/suzukimechanic . Please like/share my page.

  6. #36
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    Had one roll in one day, commodore with big dollar 4 link and rear clip done by a major shop. As above, brake lines run through the springs, the wheels they had to build the lot around hit on both the inside and outside guards, the diff wasnt centred under the car (both side to side and front to back), spring heights were not set, coilover adjustments all over the place, and everything was finger tight. 5 figures well spent there.

  7. #37
    Registered User dnegative's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Faux Forg View Post
    This was a Commodore steering rack conversion on a 50's Yank barge.....


    Fucking lol
    Quote Originally Posted by cracka View Post
    Fuck I'm retarded

  8. #38
    not a cunt suzuki dave's Avatar
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    Had a swift come in last year 323kms on the odometer..


    "Professional" company had installed a hitch n go setup to it to tow it behind a motorhome.


    The cable that comes through the firewall and attaches to the brake pedal they had about 4 attempts to get it in the right place . One of those 4 attempts went badly.

    Mobile Suzuki Specialist : www.facebook.com/suzukimechanic . Please like/share my page.

  9. #39
    bitch lasagne Bob Vegana.'s Avatar
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    Fuck that's a stupid idea.

    Just get a small car trailer for fuck's sake.
    Quote Originally Posted by brewdles View Post
    In short, some cunt at test and tune had a 250cc honda turning to 11ty and it sounded porn. Do that.

  10. #40
    Registered User clutch-monkey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terribleone View Post
    I had this regular customer thats a complete tosser. Owns a whole bunch of exotic Euro stuff (porkas, Ferrari, Lambo etc) but they were all fucked. He would buy the cheapest, most fucked examples of each, put ugly wheels and shitty decals on them and well...act like a fuckwit.

    So one day he rings and tells me he's bought a black 930 and would be bringing it in for a once over. During the entire course of the phone call he mentions the words "genuine 930 turbo" at least 10 times. I get a bit excited. Tells me what he paid for it and Im in disbelief. Very cheap. Next week rolls around and car turns up, I wait until the end of the day to have a good look and drive of it. Quick walk around and it looks nice. Fat ass, big rubber, nice paint. I get in and take off down the road, after warming it up I give it a bit of a squirt and hang on. Hmm. Nothing. Feels like a fucking 3.0 Carrera. Pull over and pop the engine cover. No turbo, WTF. Go back and give him a call and im like ummmm mate, you know its not turbo yeah? "Its genuine! Its a genuine 930 turbo!". Cue 15 minutes of him explaining how a 1977 narrow body with fibreglass guards is classified as a 930 in "his circle". Gets angry because Im asking him if he realises its not a 930 turbo. Insists it is.

    One of the dumber conversations I was part of. It didnt even make sense.
    holy lol
    though to be fair some people just call anything with impact bumpers a 930.. they think it's the series (like 964, 993 etc)

  11. #41
    Registered User Gussy's Avatar
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    This thread is a classic.

  12. #42
    Registered User irsa76's Avatar
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    When I was an apprentice at a Mazda dealer we had a 121 Metro come in for a service. The senior Mazda tech went to get the car then came back and threw the keys to me, along with a plastic seat cover which we rarely used. Outside of the car was grubby, inside was a health hazard. My plan of driving it into the workshop hanging my head out the window hit a snag when I found the window winders had been removed! Didn't think I could hold my breath that long. Inside was full of shit, seriously. We found feces on the back seat. Owner claimed to have allergies. We told her next time the car came in that filthy we will get it cleaned at her expense. She arced up at that.
    Another good one was a GE 626 V6 sedan owned by a lawyer. Came in for a service and we noted it needed brakes and tyres badly, brakes worn just about to backing plates and tyres were showing belts. Customer refused claiming we were ripping her off. We had release the car back to her but not after we made her sign a declaration stating her car was unsafe to drive, and stamped unsafe on every piece of paperwork we could. We may have also called ACT Police, it was mentioned.
    Then there was the L300 that came in barely running for it's 100,000km service. Quick check of the service book showed no history, asked the owner and he said he never was told it needed to be serviced! Poor van had done 100,000km in 12 months without being back to a dealer once. Apparently he'd only topped up the oil a couple of times. New engine under warranty, against our advice but Mitsubishi paid up.
    Weird one was a local Comms company Sprinter that needed a new key. The only way to code the key was to have it plugged into the Mercedes computer at the dealership and in turn have that connected to Mercedes in Germany for the code to allow access to the vehicle security system, in real time. Complete pain in the arse. Once we FINALLY got it sorted, after bricking the bloody ECU and needing it unlocked by Germany, we then get a phone call from Mercedes Lease Australia to secure the vehicle in the workshop and the owner was in default!
    At least the armored E class was, a bit, easier to deal with. Lucky for us our new mechanic had an HR license so he could legally drive it, GVM was just on 4.5 tonne. We had to send it to Bob Jane as they were one of 2 workshops in Fyshwick with a hoist rated enough to support the weight at the time, the other being DASfleet. The Merc broke the hoist.
    I can't forget the Lotus Elise that came in for the suspension upgrade, under warranty mind you. Owner insisted on the interior being completely covered, only fully licensed drivers to drive it under his supervision, no boot allowed, and he refused to leave the vehicle while the work was being done. Sort of soured my experience of driving it, albeit a short distance.

  13. #43
    Baked Dachi Benonymous's Avatar
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    Not a mechanic story but many years ago I was on foot in Chatswood heading to the railway station and this chick pulled up at the lights in an Escort RS2000. I had owned one at one stage so it caught my eye. As she rolled to a halt at the lights, the front wheel seemed to push backwards in the guard. I thought I imagined it so I kept an eye on it as she rolled forward and stopped again. Yep, the front wheel pivoted backwards a long way. I figured the torsion bar and the lower control arm on that side must have been completely disconnected for that to happen, no bush, no washers, no nut and no split pin. It must've felt really weird to drive, but heh, it was a chick....
    “Buy the ticket, take the ride.’”
    ― Hunter S. Thompson

  14. #44
    Chopped BigMuz's Avatar
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    Retard Honour Wall.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sloth View Post
    Rob Sloth Young did i ask for your opinion? no. i only want it for a paddock bomb. go play with traffic.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fondles View Post
    you stupid fucken imbicle.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fondles
    your are a fucken idiot of the highest level.

  15. #45
    Registered User 1uz-zte's Avatar
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    ...

  16. #46
    Registered User Fraud's Avatar
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    holy shit!
    Quote Originally Posted by myshortyboomba View Post
    I've had many gauges in cars. I always found the conrods react faster than a gauge.

    you can always hear them when they break and they stop the engine immediately so you can't do any more damage.

  17. #47
    Registered User mad_cow's Avatar
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    Classic!

  18. #48
    Registered tax offender SuperDave's Avatar
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    I did see a commodore at the wreckers once with no surface left on the front rotors, just the vanes. I wasn't surprised it was in an accident.
    My car
    Corolla
    Quote Originally Posted by brasher View Post
    I'd have no qualm about punting a kid into the fresh produce section if it meant the difference between getting a set of night vision goggles or not.

  19. #49
    Registered User BiH's Avatar
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    There was one kid who owned a nissan nxr nugget that had a sr20det conversion. Worst workmanship I have ever seen and it was downright deadly. Once we had finished trying to resurrect lazarus from the dead the extra-bolts-we-had-to-use count was 61. I will never forget that number.

    We actually had him sign a disclaimer absolving us of any misfortune that might come our way. Few weeks later he ended up totalling the shitter we he ran out of talent at 150kmhr.

    Whoever had worked on the car before us shouldve seen the insides of a jail cell. Truly a death trap.

  20. #50
    Registered User BiH's Avatar
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    Another classic i just remembered. Young asian pokemon loving woman early 20s with a s15 that had around 40ish k km on the odo.

    Engine seized.

    Hmm. Unheard of. Definitely wtf. Asked her what happened. She said it just stopped. When was last time oil changed? Stared blankly.

    No oil change in 40k km. Oh well. At least we all found out what abuse sr20dets can take before they throw in the towel.

  21. #51
    Registered User dnegative's Avatar
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    A Yarris will do a shade over 100,000km on the factory fill of oil, bloke I used to work with had one towed in, bought new by some young chick (well parents probably bought it) and she had absolutely no idea you were supposed to service a car. It had a set of tyres fitted at some stage but the bonnet had never been popped since the dealer PD.


    I thought it was pretty decent, think he said he got about a cup of some sort of oil product out of the sump.
    Quote Originally Posted by cracka View Post
    Fuck I'm retarded

  22. #52
    cunt
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    happened a few years ago like over 10 years ago but a Bosnian put an intercooler on his Corolla because it would cool the air better and give more power, no turbo in sight! the boxy corolla that looked like a nissan exa
    Quote Originally Posted by BeverlyHillsCop View Post
    I think u should marry her... slip the ring inside your ass and next time she goes in, she'll come out with a ring on her finger...

  23. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Madhatr View Post
    had a customer come in with a peugeot 406 complaining the brakes had gone spongy and was difficult to get into gear sometimes. Wanted it looked at. Something major had gone wrong in the rear end and the solid brake line had been moving all over the place, eventually rubbed through just behind the caliper and dumped fluid everywhere. Made a new line, bleed the rear brakes, came around to bleed the fronts and realised the whole front subframe was just about ready to fall out of the car. Im not even joking, forget the engine mounts being completely trashed, the struts, the subframe mounts and pretty much every bush in the front end were completely destroyed. One of the subframe bolts had snapped after the pounding it had copped, while one of the others had worn to a nice taper from the cradle moving around.

    Tried to drop the car back down on to it's wheels but everything was out of whack. No way in hell I was going to let anyone get into it, so we put a couple of jacks under the rear end and pulled the car backwards until a HUGE bang was heard and the subframe rested back into position. Called the customer for a bit of a chat and a please explain, they knew all about the worn bushes, been like that for at least a couple of years, every time you go over a speed bump the car steers funny for a moment then it usually comes good with some driving. If you though that was completely ridiculous in itself, the brake line had been leaking for weeks and they just kept topping up the brake master every time they went to drive anywhere.

    If you have ever seen flogged caster bushes in a commodore allow a wheel to move forwards and backwards in a guard, times that by about 10. The front end moved so much it would rub on the inner guard and firewall.
    I have never seen a car that bad lol but close

  24. #54
    Brobdingnagian Member Mighty Mouse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dnegative View Post
    A Yarris will do a shade over 100,000km on the factory fill of oil, bloke I used to work with had one towed in, bought new by some young chick (well parents probably bought it) and she had absolutely no idea you were supposed to service a car. It had a set of tyres fitted at some stage but the bonnet had never been popped since the dealer PD.


    I thought it was pretty decent, think he said he got about a cup of some sort of oil product out of the sump.
    same as a 3.5 magna, had one customer back in the day murder two motors by not changing the oil .. ever.
    100k from brand new and then again at a shade under 200k, had never been back since the first motor.... seemed happy to pay the couple of $k for a wrecker motor install and labour. People are strange!

  25. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by Passion-Fingers View Post
    same as a 3.5 magna, had one customer back in the day murder two motors by not changing the oil .. ever.
    100k from brand new and then again at a shade under 200k, had never been back since the first motor.... seemed happy to pay the couple of $k for a wrecker motor install and labour. People are strange!
    100k is 10 services. Unless each service is less than ~$200 he is ahead...

  26. #56
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    Being a mitsu he would've spent 2k in 100,000km topping it up.

  27. #57
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    Chick friend of mine is like that. Bought a swift new in late 2009, comes over one day in 2012, asks me to have a look because the oil light is on. Remove oil cap, sludge everywhere, ask her when it was serviced last, stares blankly. 55,000kms on original oil. Fuck me. We go get 5L of oil and some engine flush to clear it out, I gor 700ml of old oil out, actually measured it. I tell her to bring it back to me the next week once the sludge has had a chance to loosen up and give it a proper service. About a month ago she comes over while I'm in the garage, belts are squeaking like fuck. I go to take a look at it when she tells me it's running in the same oil from when I last changed it 3 years ago. 128,000kms on it now. At least she had the tyres and brakes done recently.
    Smashed another litre in it and degreased the gunk outa the bay then and there telling her to service it ASAP. Still hasn't.
    Runs mint tho, testament to Suzuki, stupidly resilient cars.

  28. #58
    Registered User Dudeman's Avatar
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    V8 Grand Cherokees will last about 35k without an oil change.

    Had an early 80's Hilux 4by come in with an engine conversion. Nothing wrong with the install, however they had chosen a fucking Astron 2.6.

  29. #59
    Registered User 9triton's Avatar
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    had seen this on the net -lo and behold, a search on the net shows been on PF:

    mattress wrapped around tailshaft:
    http://performanceforums.com/forums/...light=mattress

  30. #60
    bitch lasagne Bob Vegana.'s Avatar
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    Had a current shape Lancer back in Feb that had gone close to 70,000km since it's last oil change. Got about a litre out of the sump.

    Story goes, she busted up with her husband, he took the car and went AWOL for about 18 months. Came crawling back with the car a near write-off, got it all fixed (poorly, mind you. You could see roughly-sanded bog in every panel), and then decided it needed a service.

    Also got an ex-DOCS Toyota Avensis on the books that is completely fucked inside and out. Does bulk kilometers every year, but is happy to get it serviced and looked at/fixed around rego time. Really surprised it hasn't seized the motor. I worked at a Toyota dealer when these were new, and no word of a lie, we'd get at least one 1AZ/2AZ-powered 'Yota (Camry, Rav, Avensis, Tarago) a month in with a locked-up motor, because they'd missed a service or two. Went to a breakdown once that a similar vintage Rav had locked up. Happened at 110 on the Federal near collector. Had to put some effort into getting the dipstick out, and needed multigrips to undo the oil cap. Sirry Asian girl never bothered to service it. What's worse is that when she pulled over, she stopped with the right-side wheels right on the fog line. Her and her mates were all happily sitting in it, blaring the music and having a jolly old time. Idiots...

    Another breakdown was a VT Ecomoo that conked out on the Hume. At first she thought it ran out of juice, but the guy who stopped to help her, noticed fuel pissing out of the hose that goes into the fuel rail. No worries, replace the hose, get someone to try and fire it up. Starter motor is intermittantly cutting out while they're trying to crank it over. I look down, and there's sparks shooting off the main B+ lead to it. How the fuck it never went up, I'll never know. I go to tighten up the nut on it, and SNAP. Cunt of a thing had been arcing out for so long, it's welded itself to the stud, and the stud's now spinning freely inside the back of the starter. Pulled the pin on it for the night, and the woman arranged a lift back to Sydney.

    The next day, I organised another starter motor, and a battery clamp to replace the non-existant one. I roped a mate into coming out to help me get it going and drive it back to mine, as abandonned cars usually end up stripped after a couple days sitting. Got the starter swapped over, poured some more fuel in, and tried again. Was running a bit rough, and then it conked out. Cunt of a thing was pissing fuel out of the rubber lines either side of the fuel filter too! It started to rain, and it was getting pretty dicey trying to sort it out on the side of the freeway, so we flat-towed it about 200m up the highway along the shoulder, and down a slip road, before going to get more fuel and something to eat. We came back, and got stuck into it again. My mate reaches under the back to start working on the fuel lines, jumps out in pain, with blood pouring out of his forearm. Right rear tyre is down to the wire across half the tread. This was going to be fun. After another hour of dicking about, we managed to get it going finally, and dumped it back at mine for the night.

    The next morning, I decided to give it a good lookover as I had a feeling the car was pretty fucked. I wasn't wrong. Oil level was halfway up the dipstick, centre bearing on the tailshaft was fucked to the point that the tailshaft was resting on the exhaust. The other back tyre was showing wire, vacuum lines off the motor everywhere, the interior electrics had a mind of their own, trans pan was drenched, rack was covered in oil, and when the owner finally came to collect it, she tells me it just past rego about two weeks prior! I found the pink slip in the glovebox, and reported the cunts to the RTA. Fuck sharing the road with a fucking death trap.
    Quote Originally Posted by brewdles View Post
    In short, some cunt at test and tune had a 250cc honda turning to 11ty and it sounded porn. Do that.

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