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Thread: Just rolled in to the shop...

  1. #91
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    My mother (no pics) has a Great wall pile of crap. 3yrs, 40000km and it hasn't had a service. Probably saved enough to buy a new one by now.

    Before that, she had a Suzuki Wagon R, the went 160000km without a service.

  2. #92
    Pull my finger StupidFlanders's Avatar
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    At work we have a lot of Indian contractors fitting aftermarket equipment to brand new cars. I'm quality control on behalf of the customer.
    Some of their work is horrendous. Seatbelt or seat bolts left loose or just not bolted in at all, Live wires rubbing on bare metal brackets, regularly scratching and denting brand new bodywork etc

    Last week i was checking a new Territory they'd fitted some gear to, and noticed a fuel smell lingering around it. I searched everywhere but couldn't find any leaks. But the smell wouldn't go away. I was getting very suspicious, when the boss came down looking for the car as the customer was desperate to pick it up.
    I told him, "do you smell fuel? I think they've drilled into a fuel tank again...."

    All the cars have a full tank of fuel, so i drove down the back of the yard swerving side to side to get the fuel sloshing around. Sure enough when i pulled up fuel was dribbling down the side of the tank. When fitting equipment under the passenger seat the went straight through the floorpan with the drill and continued on into the plastic fuel tank. 3rd one ive seen in the year and a half ive been there. That cost them another new fuel tank to be fitted.

  3. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by junny View Post
    My customers are the type to provide the lols for this thread. Also keeping some of you blokes in business


    6 month overdue service on a $100k GL320cdi
    anyone who services their car based on time is a chump. km's or nothing.

  4. #94
    I AM the State Sturmovik's Avatar
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    Yeah but those new Mercs dont even have a km interval, its all based on time.

  5. #95
    bitch lasagne Bob Vegana.'s Avatar
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    Had a beauty today. Customer mentioned his battery was starting to die, as it was getting a bit slow to crank over of a morning.

    No worries, pulled the cover off the battery, and there's dried-up acid and shit everywhere, and it's kinda damp around the negative terminal. Some fuckstick had used a hammer or something, to install the neg lead onto the terminal, and actually broke the top of the battery.
    Quote Originally Posted by brewdles View Post
    In short, some cunt at test and tune had a 250cc honda turning to 11ty and it sounded porn. Do that.

  6. #96
    bitch lasagne Bob Vegana.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StupidFlanders View Post
    At work we have a lot of Indian contractors fitting aftermarket equipment to brand new cars. I'm quality control on behalf of the customer.
    Some of their work is horrendous. Seatbelt or seat bolts left loose or just not bolted in at all, Live wires rubbing on bare metal brackets, regularly scratching and denting brand new bodywork etc

    Last week i was checking a new Territory they'd fitted some gear to, and noticed a fuel smell lingering around it. I searched everywhere but couldn't find any leaks. But the smell wouldn't go away. I was getting very suspicious, when the boss came down looking for the car as the customer was desperate to pick it up.
    I told him, "do you smell fuel? I think they've drilled into a fuel tank again...."

    All the cars have a full tank of fuel, so i drove down the back of the yard swerving side to side to get the fuel sloshing around. Sure enough when i pulled up fuel was dribbling down the side of the tank. When fitting equipment under the passenger seat the went straight through the floorpan with the drill and continued on into the plastic fuel tank. 3rd one ive seen in the year and a half ive been there. That cost them another new fuel tank to be fitted.
    They're rough as all fuck. You can show them the right way to do it, and they'll still fuck it up. It's their way or the highway.

    My van's got a Caddy fitout in it, and a lot of it was pretty scray when I bought the van used. A few other tradies who have Caddy stuff in their vans or utes have had to fix various fuck-ups as well. Caddy in Blacktown has a whole factory full of head-wobblers boring holes through things to attach their accessories.
    Quote Originally Posted by brewdles View Post
    In short, some cunt at test and tune had a 250cc honda turning to 11ty and it sounded porn. Do that.

  7. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by Captain_Slow View Post
    I suppose if you have to top the oil up so often, actually changing it is a bit academic?
    Had a xp coon had a oil leak from the gearbox, would be empty after 2 weeks got a new box and clutch for it so i stopped putting oil in it, lasted a good 4 months before the gearbox went bang
    you cant spell advertisements without semen between the tits

  8. #98
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    Had a swede come into our workshop with a celica on the back of a tilt tray with a dodgy paint job.
    He said he had lost all his keys and brought in some others and another ecu that he wanted us to code in.
    Told him that it would take half an hour to match the engine ecu to the transponder ecu and then we could code the keys.
    He agrees to this but then the meth must have kicked in.
    He was pacing the front office after 15 mins and was going off saying we are taking too long and we must be "fucking useless mechanics"
    Advisor asked him if he would like to take his car unfinished and he said fuck it yeah I will, he got the tilt tray back and as we were packing up all the interior one of the techs grabs a pair of side cutters and grabs a handful of the engine wiring loom and cuts some wires on the inside of the loom and tapes it back up and put the split tubing back over the top.
    Old mate leaves and never comes back but appears in the paper the next week arrested for rebirthing cars.

  9. #99
    Pull my finger StupidFlanders's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Evo 7 View Post
    They're rough as all fuck. You can show them the right way to do it, and they'll still fuck it up. It's their way or the highway.

    My van's got a Caddy fitout in it, and a lot of it was pretty scray when I bought the van used. A few other tradies who have Caddy stuff in their vans or utes have had to fix various fuck-ups as well. Caddy in Blacktown has a whole factory full of head-wobblers boring holes through things to attach their accessories.
    No shit, it took one of them 4 goes to tighten a seat bolt in a Colorado.
    Vehicle is presented to me for inspection, i find all 4 passenger seat bolts loose and one of the seat rail trims that cover the rear bolts not refitted and reject it.
    Go to check it the next day, 3 out of 4 bolts now tightened and the trim refitted over the loose bolt. Reject it again.
    Foreman says "no, i checked the bolt with him, it was tight"
    I go out and rock the seat, nope, same bolt still loose. I crack the shits and drive it in the workshop and get the foreman and his boss out to show them the loose bolt, "ah sorry mate, the fitter thought it was the front bolts not the rear one, i'll get him to tighten it right now"

    Ten minutes later,
    Me- "bolt tight now?"
    Foreman- "yep, he just did it, lets go check it together"

    I rock the seat, SAME BOLT STILL FUCKING LOOSE!
    Fucken idiot had been hitting the bolt with an electric rattle gun, but because the bolt had Loctite on it from the factory, the gun didn't have the guts to tighten it all the way. So when the gun stopped it was tight according to him. Nevermind the washer under the bolt head that spun freely in the 5mm gap between the bolt head and floor, or dont try and rock the seat or anything. Fuck cunts!
    Finally got it tight with a pneaumatic gun on the fourth go.
    Last edited by StupidFlanders; 10-07-15 at 11:05 PM.

  10. #100
    Chopped BigMuz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tim510 View Post
    anyone who services their car based on time is a chump. km's or nothing.
    Should actually be hours like every other piece of machinery on the planet.

    Saying 10k servicing makes sense when a city car takes 300 hours to get there but a highway car takes 100 to do the same, huh?
    Retard Honour Wall.
    Quote Originally Posted by Sloth View Post
    Rob Sloth Young did i ask for your opinion? no. i only want it for a paddock bomb. go play with traffic.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fondles View Post
    you stupid fucken imbicle.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fondles
    your are a fucken idiot of the highest level.

  11. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by junny View Post
    My customers are the type to provide the lols for this thread. Also keeping some of you blokes in business


    6 month overdue service on a $100k GL320cdi
    Big deal?

  12. #102
    Registered User Marlin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bigmuz View Post
    Should actually be hours like every other piece of machinery on the planet.

    Saying 10k servicing makes sense when a city car takes 300 hours to get there but a highway car takes 100 to do the same, huh?
    Coming from a marine background I agree hours make sense for engine servicing. A bit less so for gearboxes and diffs in cars.

  13. #103
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    Quote Originally Posted by StupidFlanders View Post
    No shit, it took one of them 4 goes to tighten a seat bolt in a Colorado.
    Vehicle is presented to me for inspection, i find all 4 passenger seat bolts loose and one of the seat rail trims that cover the rear bolts not refitted and reject it.
    Go to check it the next day, 3 out of 4 bolts now tightened and the trim refitted over the loose bolt. Reject it again.
    Foreman says "no, i checked the bolt with him, it was tight"
    I go out and rock the seat, nope, same bolt still loose. I crack the shits and drive it in the workshop and get the foreman and his boss out to show them the loose bolt, "ah sorry mate, the fitter thought it was the front bolts not the rear one, i'll get him to tighten it right now"

    Ten minutes later,
    Me- "bolt tight now?"
    Foreman- "yep, he just did it, lets go check it together"

    I rock the seat, SAME BOLT STILL FUCKING LOOSE!
    Fucken idiot had been hitting the bolt with an electric rattle gun, but because the bolt had Loctite on it from the factory, the gun didn't have the guts to tighten it all the way. So when the gun stopped it was tight according to him. Nevermind the washer under the bolt head that spun freely in the 5mm gap between the bolt head and floor, or dont try and rock the seat or anything. Fuck cunts!
    Finally got it tight with a pneaumatic gun on the fourth go.
    Good lol but that's scary that those guys are working on cars everyday.

  14. #104
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    why are they using rattle guns on seat bolts ?

  15. #105
    Registered User Marlin's Avatar
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    I think he means they use pneumatic ratchets.

  16. #106
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    Quote Originally Posted by Captain_Slow View Post
    I suppose if you have to top the oil up so often, actually changing it is a bit academic?
    Friends brother vs commo was weeping oil so it had oil topped up every fuel stop. No idea how long this went on, but when it died another mate agreed to rebuild it.

    With rocker covers off, it was clean/spoless closer to the oil cap, and the opposite corner of the opposite head was thick black sludge. And a nice sludge gradient inbetween. Motor probably missed a service or two before that but yeah. Most of the motor was thick sludge. The thinner clean oil was probably all that wept out between top ups.

  17. #107
    Pull my finger StupidFlanders's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marlin View Post
    I think he means they use pneumatic ratchets.
    Nope. Electric then pneumatic rattle guns. None of them own an air ratchet.

  18. #108
    Registered User Gussy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 67rce View Post

    Before that, she had a Suzuki Wagon R, the went 160000km without a service.
    Fuck, that's good going. would have hated to see the internals. I bought a diesel MK 3 Golf for 500 quid a few years back, wasn't sure when it was serviced when I bought it but I put another 60,000k on it before I gave it an oil change. Changed the oil, ran it for a few mins, dipped it to check it for oil level and the oil was already black. Kept going happily well past 340,000k though before I gave it to a mate.

  19. #109
    Registered User Marlin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StupidFlanders View Post
    Nope. Electric then pneumatic rattle guns. None of them own an air ratchet.
    Wow.

  20. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by StupidFlanders View Post
    Nope. Electric then pneumatic rattle guns. None of them own an air ratchet.
    You don't think that is a bad idea ?

  21. #111
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Evo 7 View Post
    Had a beauty today. Customer mentioned his battery was starting to die, as it was getting a bit slow to crank over of a morning.

    No worries, pulled the cover off the battery, and there's dried-up acid and shit everywhere, and it's kinda damp around the negative terminal. Some fuckstick had used a hammer or something, to install the neg lead onto the terminal, and actually broke the top of the battery.
    Helped re-wire an old mack or similar. Truckie had put a new battery in his truck. Being a truckie and not overly bright, he had confused the +'ve terminal marking and the + where you put a screw driver in to top up/check the battery. Put terminal clamps on wrong terminal posts. Multiple suggestions made to truckie about intelligence and possible time for getting glasses...
    Quote Originally Posted by jmac View Post
    ... he may have seen one of the signs of the apocalypse - 4 horsemen, fwd transmission, pestilence etc??

  22. #112
    bitch lasagne Bob Vegana.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don Mega View Post
    You don't think that is a bad idea ?
    Its only bad when you use them on a pyrotechnic seatbelt pretensioner
    Quote Originally Posted by brewdles View Post
    In short, some cunt at test and tune had a 250cc honda turning to 11ty and it sounded porn. Do that.

  23. #113
    Pull my finger StupidFlanders's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Don Mega View Post
    You don't think that is a bad idea ?
    Yes and no. In the hands of the right person who knows there gun well and how to use it it's ok on a 12mm diameter bolt. With an Indian who cant even remember to do the bolts up in the first place, not such a good idea.

    Problem is, im not these guys boss and we are not employed by the same company, and i cant watch every little thing they do during the build process. I'm presented with the finished product the next day. I can only fault what i see.

    We have so many issues and processes made by us that are not followed by the builders that are slowly being addressed, but the contactor's management needs to pass it on to their employees. It's an odd system with lots of politics.

    FWIW i did tell them to use a regular ratchet, but that fell on deaf ears.

  24. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by StupidFlanders View Post
    Yes and no. In the hands of the right person who knows there gun well and how to use it it's ok on a 12mm diameter bolt. With an Indian who cant even remember to do the bolts up in the first place, not such a good idea.

    Problem is, im not these guys boss and we are not employed by the same company, and i cant watch every little thing they do during the build process. I'm presented with the finished product the next day. I can only fault what i see.

    We have so many issues and processes made by us that are not followed by the builders that are slowly being addressed, but the contactor's management needs to pass it on to their employees. It's an odd system with lots of politics.

    FWIW i did tell them to use a regular ratchet, but that fell on deaf ears.
    We had similar issues at work, the problem was solved with instant dismissals and security walking the staff directly off the premises.

  25. #115
    Pull my finger StupidFlanders's Avatar
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    That is in the process of happening next week so im told.
    Written and verbal warnings aren't getting the message across.

  26. #116
    Registered Fuckwit oioioioioi's Avatar
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    Unfortunately HR is much more convoluted in Australia - with absurd protectionism for useless employees thanks to the union movement.

    Especially when old mate is inspecting work completed by employees at different company.

  27. #117
    bitch lasagne Bob Vegana.'s Avatar
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    The problem with that sort of work is if you pay peanuts, you really will end up with monkeys.
    Quote Originally Posted by brewdles View Post
    In short, some cunt at test and tune had a 250cc honda turning to 11ty and it sounded porn. Do that.

  28. #118
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    Quote Originally Posted by oioioioioi View Post
    Unfortunately HR is much more convoluted in Australia - with absurd protectionism for useless employees thanks to the union movement.
    Not a cake walk here either. Someone gets assholed on the spot we still have to pay them 1 month in lieu and 3 months for every year they have worked. Govement labour departments and unions, gotta love em.

  29. #119
    Registered Fuckwit oioioioioi's Avatar
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    Holy hell!

    Lucky the wages are low?

  30. #120
    Shaved cunt Andrew Bolt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by junny View Post
    6 month overdue service on a $100k GL320cdi
    I was one year overdue on my C63 but car had only done 4000km in the two years since the service.
    Proudly presenting the new foot long chocolate Subway.
    Quote Originally Posted by ALLMTR View Post
    Rats tail haircut used to mean make sure the OC spray is shaken

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